I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
