I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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