sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
