Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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