I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
