I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
