u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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