I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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