Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize