You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
