Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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