we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We're too hungover to prance.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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