id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
vagina is talking i cant
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
