i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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