imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
