just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
