I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think i have two assholes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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