how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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