Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
