Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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