Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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