My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
that may or may not have been my penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
