DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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