3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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