i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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