whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
