I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
