I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
