I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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