do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
where does the pee come out of this thing
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
