Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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