Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize