He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
