Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
