HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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