How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
