im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
