he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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