guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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