I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
