Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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