Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
