You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
