Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
