He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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