she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
