did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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