TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
