i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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