is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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