gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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