I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just high enough for therapy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
