Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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