if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
